The following letter from a young woman who visited us recently and then returned home is a powerful illustration of what most of us go through (in varying degrees) when we discover the teachings of Jesus and then try to share them with others.
I want to tell you about people's reactions here around me regarding my visit to 'the dangereous cult'. It is scary in a way because I've never seen my family and friends freaking out so much at the same time because of something that I have done. It seems as if everything I say is being used against me or against the community.
The worst situation was when my friend visited me and asked questions about my time in England. It seemed as if she had already made up her mind before she spoke to me because she didn't really listen to what I was saying. She rather picked out some of what I answered which fitted to her point of view, without looking at the context. I felt like her only aim was to find negative things about the community so that she could latch onto a real fact to be used to criticize you. But she was not open to hear all the good things; she was focused on discovering evil behind the community.
After some time of discussion I felt helpless and a bit disappointed. I've never seen her freaking out like that. She said that if I ever join the community, she'll go crazy and then REALLY freak out. I just can't understand why people react so emotionally about it all.
I told her if she doesn't agree with what you guys are doing that's ok.. I can't force her. But then she has no reason to attack you like she did and to paint everything in black. She could just let you do your thing, and if I am happy with the community, it is my own choice. She has nothing to do with it and doesn't need to save me from anything evil.
She says that she can't trust the community at all ("Maybe there is a freaky and evil leader behind the whole thing who guides everybody under his control.") and so she can't trust me either because I am brainwashed. What can I do? Everything I say is useless, because she just doesn't listen to it! It is actually quite hurtful... she is my best and most trustworthy friend... and now she seems so changed. (People say I have changed so much; but she changed a lot too!!)
When I asked her to watch the DVD she threw it away and shouted that she doesn't want to even touch it. She's afraid of getting brainwashed. I showed her the cover and said: Does that look like from an evil cult? She said that this would be your tactic to attract people. Then she told me about her brother who apparently deleted me from his facebook list of friends because he doesn't want to be in touch with anyone from a cult. This is so stupid!! I couldn't believe it when I heard this! I just don't understand why people get so angry about the whole thing!
If she really wanted to get information about what you are doing, she could have listened to what I said, contacted you, or written something on the forum. But she didn't do any of those things. Why do people freak out instead of being more open-minded and engage in discussing the issues? If she's so convinced of what is right and wrong (or good and evil), why doesn't she trust in her reason and conscience to see things clearly even if she did watch the dvd, for example?! It seems so contradictory.
The second hard discussion was with my father about money. He believes that it is an illusion that the world could exist without money. He says that it's against human nature. Then he, who used to be an active revolutionary in earlier times, said something which disappointed me very much. He said: "But look around! What has changed? I can't see big changes in the world..." Like it was impossible to make a better world. I wouldn't have expected HIM to say something like that. He mainly argued that we have no choice... we are born into an achievement-oriented society and we cannot change it. It is how it is. I tried to tell him that we are all part of that society, we are the society and we (human beings) make it up. If we people created it, we should also be able to change it. Is that so illusionary??
In the end of the discussion he admitted that he actually is worried to lose me. He's afraid that I will get further and further away from him and my family because of my beliefs and ideas.
In a way I knew that I would have some of those discussions when I got back home, but it is still surprising how people react. To be honest it is very hard for me to see everyone so worried about me getting lost and brainwashed. I always have to pay attention to what I am saying and what words I chose to say it. Everything can be misunderstood. I would love to speak freely about it all with my friends and family because before, they were the persons whom I trusted and relied on. It really changes something in my relationship to them which makes me very sad. I am starting to better understand when Jesus said 'Hate your family and friends'.
I sometimes have to imagine how it must have been for anyone else in the community when you told your family about it. You were on your own and you had to stand for it and be strong in what you believe. I have lots of respect for that because now I know how hard it is. It is good to be reassured that it is actually the right thing what I am doing and defending. I need to work on it to be strong myself... in any situation or discussion.
Update: This young woman later cancelled plans to visit with the community, saying that it was not because of her family's fears, but because she could not believe that we are able to live as well as we live without getting money in some dishonest way. She also said that she objected to our restrictions on sex between singles, saying that she preferred the "more modern and less strict" way.
